Part A: Past Recollections - Nazar dhundli si hai**

**I wrote this for a very special friend. I could not attend her wedding. I recorded this in my voice and and this became my wedding gift to her.

Nazar dhundli si hai - saaf dikh nahin raha.
Tagde kuch rishtey aaj adh-pake lag rahe hain.
Aangan ki mitti, pairon ke tale se dheere-dheere khisak rahi hai.
Nazar dhundli si hai - saaf dikh nahin raha.

Duur khada ek aadmi, kuch jaana pehchaana sa lagta hai, kuch apna sa lagta hai.
Uske kandhe shaayad kabhi mera bojh ddhote they.
Haan, wo ungli usi ki thi, jo kabhi mere dagmagate kadmon ko disha detin thi.
Iske dil se main acchi tarah waqif huun - lohe ki tarah sakht hai.
Par usi lohe ko meri choti-choti shararton se, mom ki tarah pighalte dekha hai maine.
Lekin aaj, uske baal safed aur kandhe jhuke se lag rahe hain.
Nazar dhundli si hai - saaf dikh nahin raha.

Is aurat ka itne intezaam mein bhi dil nahin lag raha?
Itni sajavat, itni roushni, itne mehmaan?
Arre, kahin ye wohi to nahin jiski maine tabaah ki hai anginat raatein?
Rote-bilakte-chillaate, use tab tak sone nahin diya jab tak mujhe khud neend nahin aa gayi.
Mujhe sulaate-sulaate uske haath ka thap-thapaana, abhi tak mere peeth pe taaza hai.
Lekin aaj, uske haath kaanp kyun rahe hain? ye chudiyaan itna shor kyun kar rahi hain?
Nazar dhundli si hai - saaf dikh nahin raha.

Waqt ka ghoda belagaam ho chala hai, ek arsa usne aaj ek hi shaam mein daud liya.
Mera safar lamba hai - duuri zyaada nahin - par faasla kaafi hoga.
Chalo samaan baandh lein - wo kamra, wo bachpan ke khilone, wo bistar.
Wo khidki jisne sujhaaye na jaane kitne mausam,
Wo sambhaal ke rakhe hue mere kapde,
Wo school-bag, wo kitaabein, wo aaeena, wo gali ka baansuri-waala,
Wo park, wo ice-cream ki dukaan, ye galiyaan, wo raaste aur wo chauraahe ka bhikhari.
Mujhe wo sab chahiye jinke bagair main "main" nahin. Safar lamba hai.

Aaj meri vidai hai. Man kuch bhaari sa hai.
Ankhon me nami hai, aur nazar dhundhli si hai.
Yaadon ke is kohre mein, ek dost bhi yaad aata hai - dhundhla sa.
Tha ek anadi - waise dubla-patla, par akl moti.
Uske saath maine apne kuch lamhein bitaaye hain - kabhi hanste, kabhi gaate.
Wo kahin nazar nahin aa raha - shaayad pahunch nahin paya hai.

Nazar dhundli si hai - saaf dikh nahin raha.